A Calf Born in Winter

Reflecting on death, growing up, and my grandfather’s farm

Asher Isbrucker
16 min readMay 3, 2021
The last photo I took of my grandfather, on my last visit to his farm.

The Cows

The calf was born in winter. My grandfather’s neighbour, Alan, had interrupted our dinner and ushered us into this drafty corner of his barn, following the irritated mooing of a mother cow in the throes of labour. We shivered under ill-fitting winter jackets, watching through clouds of our frozen breath as one cow emerged from another.

The calf was a tangled mess of limbs, coated in a thick mucous, squeezed out the backside of its mother like an oversized bowel movement. The mother cow mooed and stomped her feet, but most of the time she remained still, as if she didn’t know what was going on behind her. She seemed at most mildly annoyed, as if she’d grown impatient of standing in a long queue at the DMV.

I don’t know what compelled Alan to call on us. We certainly couldn’t help him or his cow, my three siblings and I, nor my father — all we could do was watch. But that, I think, is what he thought we wanted. We were curious children. We asked many questions of him; “Do you name your cows?” “Why is maple syrup so sweet?” “What are hay-bales for?” “What happens to the cows when they get old?” Perhaps showing us where cows come from was a preventative measure.

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Asher Isbrucker
Asher Isbrucker

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